10 suggestions to be the worst developer


Yesterday, I saw a very interesting article on devto. A foreign development elder brother published an article about devto10 tips on how to be the worst developerCompared with other positive suggestions on how to become a good programmer, the article is more profound. Now let’s take a look at what these 10 suggestions are!

Top 10: you need to understand JavaScript 100% before you do anything

This is a very good suggestion that can be applied anywhere. Unless you are the first expert in the field, you should not do anything, even if it is not in your country, at least in the circle around you. How else are you sure you won’t screw anything up? How else can you make sure you don’t get ridiculed?

If you start too early, you may make a mistake and remember:As a developer, your job is to never make mistakes

Top 9: never question thought leaders;, They are always right and smarter than you

Thought leaders should be respected as God. What they say is what they say. Even if they started coding a few weeks ago and you’ve been coding for years! If they have a lot of followers on social media and they are more knowledgeable than you, you should listen to them carefully.

Remember: 1 follower = = 1 billion brain cells. Do you have trillions of brain cells?

Top 8: if you don’t understand something, it must be the fault of the language creator and the fundamental defect of language. You should write your own language to solve this problem

We have so many bugs because we don’t have enough programming languages. Brendan EICH created JavaScript in 10 days. Of course, if you spend 30 days or so, you can definitely come up with a better way.

Top 7: if someone comes up with another solution to your problem, you just need to say “but…” and say any of the following words, then you can leave: “security”, “scalability”, “orthogonality”, “maintainability”

No one really understands your code and why it’s written by you. Don’t expect anyone to give any helpful feedback, 110% of the time they don’t know what they’re talking about. If they’re so smart, they should write code, not you.

Top 6: don’t learn HTML, it’s out of date

Just because every modern web framework still uses HTML doesn’t mean you should do the same. Instead, you should focus on building a new markup language and ecosystem (browsers, mobile devices, APIs, etc.) around it.

Make sure you jump into any conversation about html to remind you that HTML is not really a “real” programming language. The same is true for CSS. Leave links to these conversations on your resume so that your hiring manager knows you’re a “real programmer.”.

Top 5: you don’t need to care about how to communicate with people – people don’t matter, it’s computers that matter

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen developers make is wasting time communicating rather than writing code. You are hired as a developer, not as a talker. The more lines of code you write, the higher your salary.

Ignore email, slack messages, and GitHub issues. Instead, you can work in a silo and create as many cool features as you can. When someone forces you to attend a meeting, cancel it at the last minute with an extremely vague excuse.

Top 4: try to make things as complicated as possible. That’s the key to keeping working

This is especially important: find a place where you feel comfortable. Do your best to control it completely, and don’t neglect it. Use functions, variables, and filenames as creatively as possible. Use your routines, such as spelling words upside down, using the names of people on your favorite TV show, or family names as prefixes for random variables. It can also be considered for approvaljsFuckRun your code.

If you’re the only one who can fix or update the code base, this is the ultimate form of job security.

Top 3: copy and paste everything, don’t worry about not being able to understand

Our goal is to release the code! Now the Internet has many resources, such as stack overflow and Google, and almost all the answers are in front of you. The problem here is that many developers waste time trying to understand something useful. If it works, move on and don’t spend any time thinking about it.

Spending a lot of time understanding what you’re doing will prevent you from achieving your ultimate goal: to write as much code as possible.

Top 2: your opinion is the only thing you need to listen to

This goes back to top 5’s advice: the more people you participate, the more bullshit you hear from others. If you’re forced to listen to your manager or other team members, join them on the phone, but while they’re talking, try to imagine Beastie Boys’ Galaxy video playing in your mind to make sure nothing they say gets into your brain.

Top 1: every instance of let in colleague code must be rewritten as much as possible. They may hate you now, but they will thank you later. It is critical to the stability of the application and should take precedence over the release of new features!

This is the most important, self-evident!

Read here, are you like me, mixed feelings? Don’t forget the title of this article. These suggestions are all suggestions to make you a bad programmer, so every suggestion is in fact a negative one, that is, these habits will make you far away from good developers. In fact, in reality, there are still many bad coding habits. What do you hate the most? Welcome to tell us in the message!

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